My posting has been intermittent lately; I’m being throttled by the Learned Hand of law school finals. They’re quite stressful: I find myself fantasizing about the catastrophic bout of drinking I’m going to tumble into as soon as I turn in my Entertainment Law shitstorm. I’ve been thinking about devising some indie rocktails. It’s self-explanatory. Let’s get to it.
The NEON INDIAN
4 oz. Riesling
4 oz. Lemon-lime gatorade
For best results, drink while wearing an enormous, racist Indian headdress.
The XX
One bottle of Dos Equis (or, truthfully, several)
2 oz. tequila (multiply by number of bottles of Dos Equis)
Drink the Dos Equis until the volume of liquid falls below the bottle neck. Fill the bottle back up with tequila. Put your thumb over the opening and give it one good shake.
The GUCCI MANE
1 full-size can of Four Loco (any flavor, they all taste like the Devil’s asshole)
Barbecue sauce to taste
DRINK IT, BITCH.
The HOT CHIP
2 oz. bourbon
1 oz. limoncello
1 oz. boiling water
Stir together with a thin copper tube. Garnish with the copper tube and a spray of Pine-Sol.
The RAINBOW ARABIA
1 oz. EACH of Absolut Raspberri, Citron, Kourant, Mandarin, Peppar, and Apeach
1 plain Sno-Cone
Crush Sno-Cone. Pour the vodkas over the ice. Garnish with chocolate chips and pencil shavings.
The PISSED JEANS (‘Half Idiot’ variation)
5 oz. Jose Cuervo (two double-shots)
1 can Pabst Blue Ribbon
Drink all the Jose Cuervo. Then, drink all the PBR. The ‘Full Idiot’ variation substitutes Jose Cuervo for Southern Comfort, thereby doubling your chances of an embarrassing blackout drunk incident, such as pissing your jeans.
Hot Chip – “Take It In”
Pissed Jeans – “Half Idiot”
Rainbow Arabia – “Holiday in Congo”
