I’m not going to lie to anyone here. I have a very specific type of lady I like to recklessly pursue. It’s not a complicated algorithm or anything. Just hot chicks that want to make out with me. If you’re super hot you move on to round two of the interview process.

Little Boots is officially at round dos for me. I only have anecdotal evidence to date regarding whether or not she wants me to pursue her with reckless abandon. It’s pretty compelling stuff, but I won’t bore you with it until a later post. Alright I’m bad at secrets: It’s stuff like “Why would she post pictures on the internet of herself dressed all sexy for me to look at all day long if she wasn’t trying to get my attention?” Riddle me that Bruce. Solid stuff indeed.

If I was trying to get into some vixens pants at some sort of dancing establishment – I’d give the dj 20 bucks and tell him to throw this album on repeat. It’s pretty good if you’re plastered worse than that second grade paper mache project on gin and tonics while up against the back wall of the club pulsating your hips to the beat in rhythm with the prom queen as you whisper your dirty intentions into her right ear.* And if you don’t want to wait for privacy to get the lady in question off – throw another Lincoln on that bribe stack you slapped the DJ and request the Gold Panda remix of Earthquake. The throws of ecstasy. Life can indeed be rough. Don’t let Gold Panda touch anything you own though. It all turns to rubies.**

Get the album here.***

Little Boots – “Earthquake (Gold Panda remix)”
Little Boots – “New In Town”
Little Boots – “Earthquake”

* Never the left. Ever.
** This is from the lesser known fairy tale about Midas’ half cousin Melvin who had the misfortune to have everything he touched turned to rubies. They based a skittles commercial on this concept hundreds of years later. It was indeed very humorous and considered to be widely successful.****
*** Every single song on her new album could be a single. How do people do that? I give up.
**** I learned how to spell success from watching Full House. Double the C’s and double the S and you’ll always have success.

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