You know how you know you’ve got a good friend? If you call them at 3am because you’re in jail…they come and bail you out. You know how you can tell you’ve got a great friend? When you’re in jail at 3am they’re sitting right there with you.
Dan is that kind of guy. And today is his fucking birthday. Plus Dan is Irish so everything is cause for celebration. Best – not dying for 365 consecutive days. For people like Dan and I – this is a serious accomplishment.* We live life pretty close to the edge. Kind of like that Aerosmith song but way crazier. That being said the only thing I could think to get Dan for his birthday was this song by Grouper. It’s called Heavy Water/I’d Rather Be Sleeping. Picture him coming back hammered from a night of bashing about the the Hollywood alphabet listers…sitting down…obviously checking to see what I got him…then listening to this song. Just think about that.
Now Listen to the song. Try to guess the name of the album. Oh did you guess “Dragging A Dead Deer Up A Hill”? Yeah I know, it was my third guess too. My first two were “Sliding Live Narwhals Down the Highway” and “Heaving Woodchucks over a Dam on a River”. Damn. So close.
The magician behind this magic – Grouper…is really just the solo name of a girl from Portland, Oregon. You can look up your name yourself if you want.*** She writes music that can be described as nothing short of haunting. I would be perfectly content if you told me you were shipping me off to an island and this was the only song I got to listen to for the next ten years.** She’s touring in Europe right now. You should go there and see her. I’m serious. Also check out her album on Amazon here. Don’t buy from iTunes. They are silly.
And to Dan. A Happy Birthday. And may you be buried in a casket built from a hundred year old oak tree… that I plant today.
Grouper – Heavy Water/I’d Rather Be Sleeping
* One of us could be dead by the time you read this.
** Not forever. Fuck that. Rest of my life? I don’t even think I’d bring music. I’d go nuts on that shit. Just kidding I’d bring the Fur Elise song the older gentleman wrote if it was forever.
*** I don’t even know why we bother with names as a society anymore. We should all just go by hey. So many fewer screw-ups. No more names to remember. Problem solved. Name tag sales would be down. Okay we’ll file that under one con.
